Friday, December 01, 2006

FRIDAY - the worst day to be driving in penang

i got this in an office forward early this morning.... quite true also la... sigh...

Things to do this Friday. Legend has it that on this day, all cars in Penang Island will be moving at 0.2 miles/ hour, or not at all.

1. Fill up your fuel tank. Make sure it's sufficient for at least 5 hours on the road. According to unsubstantiated sources, the Shell near Bayan Bay has fuel that gives the best gas mileage.

2. Empty your bowel and rectum (or back passage). You don't want your car to smell, literally, like shit.

3. Trying eating bananas (not too much). It contains folate which helps concentration and memory. It also has a high glycemic index rating (how quickly can energy be boosted).

4. Avoid drinking any kind of liquid 1 hour before you drive.

5. Bring along your PSP, iPod, biology texbooks, poker cards, tarantula.... whatever can keep you entertained (or awake) in your tiny vehicle.

6. Famine kills brain cells. Stack up tonnes of instant food in your office AND in your car.

7. Call me up (not your mom, she makes you sleep). I can lend you my ears for whatever crappy personal stories you think the world should know. It's free. The call and "saman" are not.

8. If you started coming from Motorola before 5pm, but is still stuck along the Coastal Highway, you might as well embrace one of the potential causes of traffic jam (Queensbay) and catch a late-night movie at 12am. Provided you can reach there on time. And the theater is open.

9. If you get marooned in the office, turn your office into a helicopter. This is when the hallucination kicks in.

10. Just take a full-day leave. You deserve a rest. Your bosses probably won't come either.

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